Into the Makai
by Relick
Summary: Our muse, Serendipity, has finally lost her writer's block, and came up with a good idea!! The YYH gang are now trapped within Into the Woods, a Broadway play!! My 1st YYH fic!!
1. Once Upon a Time

Relick: Hello everyone! I'm Relick!

Artemis: I'm Artemis!

Relick: And this is our muse, Serendipity.

Serendipity: *banging her head against the wall*

Relick: ^_^U She's having a case of writer's block…

Artemis: Well, I hope she comes up with an idea soon, or else this fic's going nowhere!

Serendipity: *light bulb* I'VE GOT IT!!!

Relick &Artemis: What?! What?!

_To the Makai: A Yu Yu Hakusho Musical_

_By Relick and Artemis Wasabi_

_Disclaimer: We no own Yu Yu Hakusho or Into the Woods. Just each other and Serendipity_

*There are three houses on stage, belonging to Botan, Kuwabara, and Yusuke*

*Relick, in a cute outfit, steps forward*

Relick: Once upon a time—

* Music. Light shines on Botan*

Botan: *singing* I wish…

Relick: -- in a far-off kingdom in the Ningenkai—

Botan: More than anything…

Relick: --lived a young maiden—

Botan: More than life…

Relick: --a sad young lad—

*Light shines on Kuwabara and a pathetic looking cow*

Botan: More than jewels…

Kuwabara: I wish…

Relick: --and a childless baker—

*Light shines on Yusuke and Keiko*

Kuwabara: More than life…

Botan, Yusuke: I wish…

Relick: --with his wife. *singsong* Yusuke and Keiko got married!

Artemis: *policeman-on-the-job music starts* *walks in wearing a suit and sunglasses, and holding a script* *to Relick* The script. *leaves*

Relick: *resuming* --with his wife.

Kuwabara: More than anything…

Botan, Yusuke, Kuwa: More than the moon…

Keiko: I wish…

Botan: The King is giving a festival—

Yusuke, Keiko: More than life…

Kuwa: I wish…

Botan: I wish to go to the festival—

Yusuke, Keiko: More than riches…

Botan: --and the Ball…

Kuwa: I wish my cow would give us some milk…

Botan, Keiko: More than anything…

Yusuke: I wish we had a child…

Kuwa: *to the cow* Please, pal…

(A/N: He _talks to the cow…)_

Keiko: I want a child…

Botan: I wish to go to the festival.

All: I wish…

*Miyuki, Inmaki, and Gokumonki, dressed in poofy dresses, enter*

Miyuki: _You wish to go to the festival?_

Relick: The poor girl's mother had died—

Miyuki: _You, Botan?_

Inmaki: What, _you, Botan?_

Gokumonki: What, _you wish to go to the festival?_

All: The festival? The King's festival!!!???

Relick: --and her father had taken for his new wife—

Miyuki: The festival!!!???

Relick: --a woman with two daughters *double take* of her own…?

Inmaki: Look at your nails!

Gokumonki: Look at your dress!

Miyuki: People would laugh at you—

Botan: Nevertheless—

All: She(I) still wants to go to the festival—

All(except Botan) --and dance before the Prince?! *laugh hysterically*

Relick: All three were beaut…*looks at script, pulls out pencil o' doom, and writes something in the script* All three were UGLY of face, with the exception of Miyuki, and vile and blacker of heart.

Artemis: *Artemis music* The script.

Relick: But it is in the script Ary-chan.

Artemis: *looks, and gives a thumbs-up* Ok. *leaves*

Relick: Kuwabara, on the other hand, had no parents, and his sister—

Shizuru: I wish…

Relick: Well, she was quite cute—

Shizuru: I wish my bro were not a fool.

            I wish my house was not a mess.

            I wish the cow was full of milk.

            I wish the walls were full of gold—

            I wish a lot of things…

You _foolish kid! What in heavens name are you doing with a cow inside the house?_

Kuwa: A warm environment might be just be what Milky White needs to produce his milk.

Shizuru: *flabbergasted* It's a SHE!!! How many times must I tell you? Only "SHE"s can give milk.

*Two knocks on Yusuke's door. Hiei enters wearing a red cloak with a hood.*

Keiko: Why, come in, little guy.

Hiei: I wish…

            It's not for me,

            It's for Aunt Rui in Makai.

            A loaf of…*rummages through pockets and pulls out a quarter* bread, please—

            To bring my poor sweet Auntie Rui in Makai…

            *insistant* Just a loaf of bread, please…

*Yusuke gives him a loaf of bread*

Relick: Botan's stepmother had a surprise for her.

Miyuki: *empties pot of lentils into the fireplace* I have emptied a pot of lentils into the ashes for you. If you have picked them out again in two hours' time, then you shall go to the Ball with us.

*they leave, leaving Botan*

Hiei: And perhaps a sticky bun…?

            Or four…?

Botan: Birds in the sky,

            Birds in the eaves,

            In the leaves,

            In the fields

            In of castles and ponds…

Hiei: …and a few of those pies…

Botan: Come, little birds

            Down from the eaves,

            And the leaves,

            Over the fields,

            Out of castles and ponds…

Kuwa: No, _squeeze, pal…_

Botan: *falls into a trance*

            Quick little birds,

            Flick through the ashes, 

Pick and peck, but swiftly, 

Sift through the ashes,

            Into the pot…

Shizuru: Listen well, kid. Milky White must be brought to market.

Kuwa: Shizuru, NO!! he's the best cow—

Shizuru: Was. Was! _She's been dry for a week. We've no food nor money, and no choice but to sell her, while she can still command a price._

Kuwa: But Milky White is my best friend in the whole world!

Shizuru: *stares at her brother in disbelief* Look at her!

            There are bugs on her dugs.

There are flies in her eyes.

           There's a lump on her rump big enough to be a hump!

Kuwa: But—

Shizuru: We've no time to sit and dither,

            While her withers wither with her—

            And no one keeps a cow for a friend!

            Sometimes I fear you're touched.

*Hiei has been compulsively snacking on cookies and cakes. (KAWAII!!) He swallows, wiping his hands on his cape.*

Hiei: Into Makai,

It's time to go,

I hate to leave, 

I have to, though. 

Into Makai, 

It's time, and so,

 I must begin my journey. 

Into Makai, 

And through the trees 

To where I am 

Expected, ma'am *does a little bow to Keiko ^__^* 

Into Makai 

to Aunt Rui's house-- *grabs a cookie and pops it in his mouth* 

*mouth full* Into Makai To Aunt Rui's house—

Keiko: You're certain of your way?

Hiei: *grabbing cookies at each line* The way is clear, 

the light is good,

 I have no fear,

 nor no one should.

 *death glares Yusuke, who just pulled the basket of cookies away from him* 

The woods are just trees, 

the trees are just wood,

 I sorta hate to ask it, 

But do you have a basket?

Yusuke: Don't stray and be late.

Keiko: And save _some of those sweets for Rui!_

Hiei: *rolling eyes* Into Makai

 And down the dell,

 The path is straight, 

I know it well. 

Into Makai,

 And who can tell, 

What's waiting on the journey?

 Into Makai,

 To bring some bread,

 To Rui who

 Is sick in bed,

 Never can tell, 

What lies ahead, 

For all that I know,

 She's already dead.

 But, into Makai,

 Into Makai, 

Into Makai, 

To Aunt Rui's house,

And home before dark. 

*grabs another cookie and rushes off. Has he had enough to eat? I think not.* 

Relick: We will end the scene right here. It seems Hiei-kun had a little too much sugar.

Artemis: There's nothing worse than a sugar-high fire youkai.

Relick: Yeah. They start to think they're a kitsune with red hair, green eyes, and uses a Rose Whip. Leave a review on your way out that's not a flame and we'll give you…*rummages through pockets* *to Artemis* I only have 62 cents.

Artemis: I only have three…

Relick: Umm…we'll give you 65 cents…and a piece of string!!

Artemis: Oooh…good deal.

Hiei: *bouncing off the walls…literally*

Serendipity: *dodging Hiei, pinball demon* Ouch! Hiei, that's my only head!


	2. Genkai's Appearance

Relick: Hey everyone. Serendipity had died some time ago so it took some  
time to get all the necessary ingredients for a necromancy spell. And then  
she had a severe case of writer's block...  
Artemis: Again...  
Relick: But we're back with another chapter of Into the Makai!!! W00T!!! So  
without further adieu, here's chapter two!!  
Serendipity: Where we left off, Botan's bird friends had helped her with  
her task and are flying off. And Hiei was on a sugar high. But he's gotten  
over it.  
Botan: Fly, birds  
Back to the sky,  
Back to the eaves  
And the leaves  
And the fields  
And the—  
Inmaki and Gokumonki enter, dressed for the ball. I think they've been  
hanging around Miyuki a bit too much.  
Inmaki: Hurry up and do my hair, Botan-chan. *to Gokumonki* Are you really  
wearing that?  
Gokumonki: *pointing to his sleeve* Here, I found a little tear, Botan-  
chan. *to Inmaki, eyeing his hair* Can't you hide it with a hat?  
Inmaki: But I am.  
Artemis: *her music* The script.  
Botan: You look...beautiful?  
Inmaki: I know.  
Gokumonki: She means me.  
Inmaki: Put it in a twist.  
Gokumonki: Who'll be there?  
They both continue babbling as Botan sings  
Botan: Mother said be good.  
Father said be nice.  
That was always their advice.  
So be nice, Botan-chan.  
Good, Botan-chan.  
Nice, good, good, nice—  
Inmaki: Tighter!  
Botan: What's the good of being good  
If everyone is blind  
Always leaving you behind?  
Never mind, Botan-chan,  
Kind, Botan-chan,  
*Accenting each word with a strand of hair*  
Nice good nice kind good nice—  
Inmaki: *screams and slaps Botan* Not that tight!!!  
Relick: He slapped her? No brutal punching or maiming? What's the fun in  
that?  
Artemis: *music* The script.  
Relick: Whatever...  
Artemis: That's not in the script either!!  
Relick: *clams up*  
Artemis: *leaves*  
Botan: Sorry...  
Inmaki: Clod.  
Gokumonki: Hee hee hee—  
Inmaki glares at him.  
Relick: Because Yusuke had lost his father and mother in a baking  
accident...Not a drinking accident?  
Artemis: *music* The script.  
Relick: *rolls eyes* Because Yusuke had lost his father and mother in a  
baking accident— or at least that's what he believed— he was eager to start  
a family of his own, and concerned that all efforts until now had failed.  
A knock on Yusuke's door.  
Yusuke: Who might that be?  
Keiko: We just sold our last loaf of bread to that little demon.  
Yusuke: It's the witch from next door!  
Genkai Ba-san enters.  
Both: We have no bread!  
Genkai: Of course you have no bread.  
Yusuke: What do you wish, ya old lady?  
Genkai: Shut up, slacker. You dimwit.  
Yusuke: Shut up!! You hag!!  
Artemis: *music* WHY DON'T YOU ALL SHUT UP???!!! And also... *hands everyone  
an extra copy of the script* The script.  
Genkai: *reading from script* It's not what I wish, it's what you wish.  
*throws away the script* *points to Keiko's belly* Nothing cooking in there  
now, is there?  
Keiko: *blushing madly* Yusuke and I are just friends!!  
Artemis: *glares at Keiko*  
Keiko: Oops...  
Relick: The old enchantress went on to tell the couple that she had placed  
a spell on their house.  
Yusuke: What spell?  
Genkai: In the past, when you were no more than a babe, your father brought  
his young wife and you to this cottage. They were a handsome couple, but  
not handsome neighbors. You see, your mother was with child and she had  
developed an unusual appetite. She took one look at my beautiful garden,  
and told your father what she wanted more than anything in the world was...  
Greens, greens and nothing but greens:  
Parsley, peppers, cabbages and celery,  
Asparagus and watercrest  
And fiddle ferns and lettuce—!  
*falling into rap style*  
He said all right  
But it wasn't quite  
Cause I caught him in the autumn  
In my garden one night!  
He was robbing me,  
Raping me,  
Rooting through my rutabaga,  
Raiding my arugula and  
Ripping up the rampion  
My champion, my favorite!—  
I should have laid that spell on him right there!!  
*spell chord*  
Could've turned him into stone  
Or a dog  
Or a chair  
Or a sn—  
*drifts off into a momentary trance*  
But I let him have the rampion—  
I'd lots to spare  
In return, however,  
I said fair is fair:  
You can let me have the baby that your wife will bear.  
And we'll call it square.  
Yusuke: I had a brother?  
Genkai: No. But you had a sister.  
Relick: But the witch refused to tell him anymore of his sister. Not even  
that her name was Yukina. She went on.  
Genkai: I thought I had been more than reasonable. And that we all might  
live happily ever after, but how was I to know what your father had also  
hidden in his pocket?! You see, when I had inherited that garden, my mother  
had warned me that I would be punished if I were ever to lose any of the  
beans!  
Both: Beans?  
Genkai: The special beans!  
I let him go, I didn't know he's stolen my beans.  
I was watching him crawl back over the wall  
And then BANG! CRASH!!  
The lightning flashed!  
But that's another story, never mind...  
But anyway, the big day came  
I made my claim.  
Don't take away the baby, they shrieked and screeched  
But I did, and I hid her where she'll never be reached  
Your father cried  
Your mother died  
For extra measure  
I admit, it was a pleasure,  
I said, sorry I'm still not mollified  
And I laid a little spell on them.  
*spell chord*  
You too, son—  
That your family tree will always be a barren one!!  
So there's no more fuss  
And there's no more scenes  
And my garden thrives  
You should see my nectarines!  
But I'm telling you the same I tell kings and queens:  
Don't ever never ever mess around with my greens!  
Especially the beans!  
Relick: We'll end the scene right here for now. A big thank you to Kaeru  
Soyokaze, Ethelflaed, AishiteruHiei, Siluial, and Joanna Gen. Thanks for  
the great reviews guys!  
Artemis: Here's the money. Split it anyway you like. But I'm keeping the  
string.  
Relick: Leave a review on your way out. I'll try to update more often. 


End file.
